K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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