Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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