Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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