on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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