Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just googled if crying burns calories
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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