it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
