used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
