Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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