I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
