You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You just made me feel so damn special
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
