So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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