What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
