the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
