see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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