Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Where is the hickey?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
