Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
