What did we do last night that was yellow?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
