dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
