I'm so fucking centered right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize