I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
