He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
