You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
