My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it's like iHOP with fire
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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