no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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