He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize