margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
