I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
