why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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