ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
