i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
