I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
