is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
