Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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