Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We're too hungover to prance.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
