their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
