the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
