overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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