So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
