i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
