it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
