week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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