We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
