How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
