Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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