What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize