good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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