What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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