so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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