Hey man sorry I got all grabby
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
