umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
