ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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