It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
