butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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