All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
