I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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