The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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