Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
