I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
