I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
