And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
